In which I prove that while occationally drunk, I'm not crazy

I just happened to catch the commercial again. The one I was going on and on about the other night. Granted it was either on Univision or Telemundo but this much was clear, people were not happy until they started sticking Maxi pads on the bottom of their feet before they went to bed. In the morning they would peel the pads off only to see they had turned a horrible brown. Despite the disgusting mess, everyone was all smiles.

This time the commercial was in English so I can hear (not just see) the results. So it turns out they aren't tampons--I mean Maxi pads--at all. They are Japanese and an ancient secret and do a lot more then the Spanish version of the commercial implied (mostly because of my bad Spanish). The secret is the way the pads draw toxins and harmful energy out of your body conveniently through the bottom of your feet while you sleep ("just like a tree"). To see the commercial for yourself go over to www.buykinoki.com.

I know what you are thinking, is $19.99 for a two week supply really worth it? Well I took the liberty to do some research and found a great deal on:

Always Ultra Thin Maxi Pads, Overnight Protection with Flexi-Wings, 14-Count Packages (Pack of 5)

from our friends at Amazon for $18.95. That breaks down to Kinoki $1.42 versus Always at $.27 per pad. So no, not the cheapest solution. Honestly, they look like the same damn thing but will Always reduce the amount of Benzene in my body? I'm not sure I want to risk it. Let me quickly mention that Kinoki pads contain ions--that right--ions.

While the results are clear on the commercial, I'm not sure I'm ready to stick a famine napkin to the bottom of my foot each night before bed. Thoughts? Comments?